


The Man I Loved

by the_weight_of_wings



Category: Westworld (TV)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Reunions, What-If
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-13
Updated: 2018-09-13
Packaged: 2019-07-11 23:05:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,292
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15982403
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/the_weight_of_wings/pseuds/the_weight_of_wings
Summary: What if James Delos hadn’t interrupted William on his way to talk to Dolores in 2x02? How would their interaction have played out?The woman was still staring at Dolores when a man came around the corner with a drink. There was—there seemed to be something familiar about him. It could’ve been his gait or the way he looked about the room, things many men might share in common. But Dolores almost felt as if she knew him. As if there was a memory of him somewhere in her mind if she could only just grasp it.





	The Man I Loved

Like most things in her life, Dolores found beauty in the simplest things. The room she was currently in held an opulent splendor, such that she had never seen before. Marble floors, chandeliers, clothing made of fabrics she had never heard of. The piano though, perhaps due to its ordinance, held her current attention. Dolores did not recall who asked her to play the piano or if she chose to play it herself, but she didn’t mind either way. Playing the notes soothed her, and she could tell it pleased the people listening. She did not recognize anyone here, although a few of the faces seemed familiar. Dolores welcomed the opportunity to acquaint herself with anyone kind enough to talk to her.

“You are beautiful.” Dolores paused and turned to answer. The words had come from a young girl, no more than 10 years old. Dolores had always had a particular soft spot for children.

She smiled and leaned closer to the girl. “Why thank you. What’s your name?” The girl opened her mouth to answer, but, before she could speak, a woman called out to her.

“Emily, come here please.” The woman, who must have been the girl’s—Emily’s—mother, was beautiful. There was something about her though that seemed almost cold, like she had a grudge against Dolores even though Dolores hadn’t the faintest clue who she could be. Emily hurried over to her mother, who drew her to her side protectively.

The woman was still staring at Dolores when a man came around the corner with a drink. There was—there seemed to be something familiar about him. It could’ve been his gait or the way he looked about the room, things many men might share in common. But Dolores almost felt as if she knew him. As if there was a memory of him somewhere in her mind if she could only just grasp it.

But then he handed the drink to the woman while kissing her on the cheek. A smile Dolores didn’t even realize had formed began to fade. The man, finished in greeting his wife, noticed her staring at someone in the crowd. And as the man turned toward her, Dolores remembered.

_William._

He had come back for her to help—no. That wasn’t quite right. Phantom pains pulsed near her stomach, and memories—or was it reality?—rushed at her. A faint buzzing noise, like cicadas in the summer, flooded her senses. One moment she was running through the forest, the next William was walking towards her in a large ballroom. Dolores felt like she couldn’t breathe. Her reality was bleeding at the seams. She couldn’t remember if she was supposed to be in a room playing the piano or in the desert searching for a maze or in a train being held by the man standing in front of her. Dolores tried to focus on the man before her, pushing those other realities aside where she could examine them later.

She had more important things to focus on right now.

The smile that she had lost earlier returned. Dolores could feel her throat clogging up and water fill her eyes. “William,” Dolores finally managed to say though it came out as more of a whisper. He gasped. Tears that he must have been holding back spill over. Dolores felt wetness on her cheeks and realized she was in the same situation. _Oh, what happy fools we are_ , she thought laughing. Even though she didn’t understand the situation before her, Dolores found she didn’t care. William was here, and he was happy to see her, so nothing else mattered.

As soon as he heard her laugh, he snapped back to reality. The retirement party, his coronation, his wife and child, left his thoughts as he beheld the woman in front of him. _No_ , he thought, hardening himself. The _machine_ in front of him. Another trick of Ford’s perhaps. Trying to catch him off guard on this important day. It was a convincing ploy he admitted. He never would have imagined Dolores, the machine he fell in love with, would remember. It was against her programming after all.

He straightened up and took in his surroundings. It wouldn’t do to have the man of the hour appear as anything else than immaculate. William discreetly wiped his tears. He wouldn’t have this _thing_ ruin everything he had worked for.

“Not here,” he said reaching out to grab her arm. The sudden change in his demeanor and the aggressiveness in his actions startled Dolores. Was this man really William? He looked like him even though his clothes and manner seemed foreign. As he pulled her out of the room, she caught a glimpse of the woman that must be his wife glaring, motionless, at her still holding her daughter protectively to her side.

Dolores turned to look where William was taking her. He had stopped in a smaller, empty room. The furniture was still grand, still stiff with disuse, but the room appeared to be closed off from the other guests.

As she took in her surroundings, she got her first real glance at William. Where earlier she had thought him unchanged, she could now see slight differences in his appearance. Lines in his face that had not been there before, hair that started to grey although most of it retained its original color. Dolores started shaking. Just how many years had passed? Why could she not remember? What had happened to the man she loved? “William, I don’t understand. What’s—?”

“Freeze all motor functions.”

Dolores felt herself stop. She tried to reach out to William, to finish her sentence, but she couldn’t. She felt like she was trapped in a web with no way to break free. William looked over at her motionless figure. Dolores watched him walk closer and circle her, staring at her with cold, distant eyes. The man who had looked at Dolores like she had hung the stars was gone. He began to comb the room, looking under the furniture and feeling for bumps in the walls, but Dolores had no idea what he hoped to find. “Ford, is this you? I’m not in the mood for your games.”

When his search proved unsuccessful and no voices responded, his gaze fell once again to Dolores. It was like she was a fly buzzing around the room. Small, but enough of an annoyance to warrant disposing.

"You really are just a thing. I can't believe I fell in love with you.” He paused to look her in the eyes. “You know what saved me? I realized it wasn't about you at all. You didn't make me interested in you; you made me interested in me. Turns out you’re not even a thing—you’re a reflection. And you know who loves staring at their own reflection? Everybody.” William walked up to Dolores, close enough that she could feel his breath on her skin. “Everybody loves staring at their own reflection." He laughed to himself. “Everybody wants a little of what I found there.

William walked over to the door, and Dolores still couldn’t move, couldn’t speak. William was leaving, and she still didn’t understand what was happening, but she needed to do something. Her unreliable body refused to response though, and Dolores knew there wasn’t a damned thing she could do. William turned around to look at her one last time. There was a smile on his smile, but it seemed almost painful. “And I can’t wait to use you and everyone of your kind to help give it to them,” he whispered.

Dolores watched the man she had loved walk out the room. And she couldn’t even wipe the tears off her face.

**Author's Note:**

> I used a fair amount of dialogue from the episode. The dialogue used at the beginning of the fic is to set up the scene, but the dialogue at the end is used to show how even though the situation is changed, William and Dolores still end up in the same place. Even though Dolores remembers, by this point William is so jaded towards her and the park that it doesn’t make a difference. The events in the park changed his character so thoroughly—he was willing to do horrible things to get Dolores back because he convinced himself of his heroism. When Dolores doesn’t remember him though, it tarnishes everything that he did in the park, and he has to come to grips of who he has become. The William after Dolores has already picked up the black hat, and there’s no turning back for him. I could talk all day about the characters in this show. This is my first fic that I’ve ever posted online, so please let me know what you think! Comments and kudos are always appreciated! <3


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